The Journey of Self-Discovery Through Photography
Recently I’ve been reflecting on my journey in photography, particularly what drives me to capture the images I do. I photograph with models and my work ranges from portraits to fashion to fine art nudes. It’s something that I enjoy, but behind all this, I’ve realized there’s a deeper need – a sense of belonging.
My aim in a shooting is that the pictures I create resonate with the model, allowing them to express their emotions. Even if the pictures are more sensual or even erotic, they are not about gratifying some sexual desire but creating a shared experience that is authentic for both – the model and myself.
From the beginning, my idea was that my photos would help the models grow an audience. I wanted to be of service in my work. But I was also looking for a sense of belonging, a group of people that I could relate to. Photography has become my way to create meaningful connections.
Now, I’ve realized that this need stems from deep within my past, from my absent father, from experiences I had as a teenager, and from always feeling like an outsider. I hoped that my photography would satisfy this need for belonging.
I’ve talked about how important it is for me to show up and connect with people in real life, not only online through social media. But after this realization, I fell back to social media, and it made me feel bad. I was comparing myself to the work of others, and I felt angry and inadequate.
As a self-taught photographer, I’ve never had the external validation of art school, galleries, or agencies. But I’ve learned that seeking outside validation doesn’t fulfill my need for belonging. As I digest this, I’m trying to recover and come back into a position of power. I’m realizing that seeking outside validation doesn’t work for me.
The cold hard truth is that I have to create my own audience. I have to be the one that people would like to follow. I have to be the leader of my own community. While it seems daunting, I know I need to focus on merely doing the work, inspired by figures like Seth Godin.
I see myself as a mentor and educator, not just an artist. The real value is the transformation that people experience through interacting with my work. It’s about the stories they tell themselves and the feelings they experience.
What my audience is looking for is not some fancy photo or book or exhibition, but the journey they make, the transformation they make with my art. There are three ways we can create a transformation for our audiences. One is “I do this for you,” which is a basic service. The other is “I do it with you,” which is more of a mentoring and coaching service. And the third is “I teach you,” which is the role of an educator.
I see myself as a coach, guiding others through their transformations. What’s important for me is the transformation that people make with the piece of art that I provide. I would like to see my audience grow. All I can do is share with you my experience in a very sincere and honest way and share with you the journey that I’m going through and the emotions that I feel. I hope that by sharing my experiences, I can help others navigate their paths. I can only plant the seeds and then hope that these seeds will grow.