You have probably heard the phrase before: We should get out of our comfort zone. But we rarely talk about what it takes and the discomfort when we do things for the very first time, not knowing what the outcome will be and unsure if we are capable of it.
Change is inconvenient. For me, moving to London is one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever faced. This change brings me to the limit of what I am capable of in the sense of the amount of uncertainty that I can bear.
It’s not only the logistics and bureaucratic challenges that come with moving from one country to another, especially after Great Britain left the EU. Although opening a bank account provided me with some Kafkaesque moments. There are still more hurdles to overcome, and I can only tackle them one at a time, as if I were driving through thick fog on sight.
It’s also that I’m going to start a new life here. In all this lies the opportunity to define who I am going to be. I am now 50 years old and there are still some unfinished stories in my life: dreams that I haven’t pursued for a long time.
I remember the last time that we moved that I moved to a different city: That was 25 years ago I was 25. I had packed all my belongings in a small car and asked a friend to drive me from Hannover to Berlin. I left my hometown and was excited to begin fresh and new, reckless, as my future was still unwritten, and I was willing to shape it.
Now I am in a different situation. I have a comfortable life; I live with a partner that I love and who supports me as I support her on our paths into the future. For the first time in my life, I don’t have to worry about how I would make a living. And I even enjoy my work, as I work in a field that interests me and that is raleted to what I am going through: Shaping the future of work.
Along the way I made several attempts to fulfill what I was desperate to be: A storyteller whose stories moved people, made them wonder and rethink their lives choices. It’s only recently that I’ve gotten the impression that I’ve refined my artistry and craft to the point where I’m even able to do it.
As if I have waited for this change, now I am ready to make the connections and to build the community to live up to my potential.
And with that expectation comes the self-doubts. Will I be able to pull this off? Can I rely on my intuition that guided me all the way? Will luck let me down this time?
It’s a leap into the unknown without a safety net. There is no plan b and there is no way back: Putting aside my need for security aside is what causes me the most anxiety.